Free Bargain Counter

The Lancaster Newspaper now offers a free bargain counter for any items that are being sold for under $150. Keep your ad under 2 lines for the junk you are trying to unload and you are set! Here are a few items in this weeks paper that I thought were very odd, funny, and amusing.

Handicap portable toilet, like new. $7. (What a deal!)

1 case Monavie $95. We paid $140. (What the fuck is Monavie?)

Old chip cans. $5. each. (no thanks, I will buy new ones with chips in them for $10!)

Female Manequin on stand $100. (I want to call and ask if she is a virgin! - if so I will pay $150.)

5 silver dimes from 30's and 40's $9. obo. ( I will give you 50 cents for all of them!)

Crib Sheets with poo on them $10. (how much are they without the poop?)

I never had so much fun reading the bargain counter before. I have to laugh at the time and energy these assholes put into trying to get rid of their junk. I just put my stuff out along the road and within an hour somebody usually stops and snags it. You know what they say- One mans junk is another mans treasure! Especially if it is free!

Fred Sanford Hancock