Its a small small world

When we were at Animal Kingdom in Disney World.  I thought it was neat that the park was divided into continents.  When we were in Asia it was so ironic that we rode the water rapid ride with an oriental family.

My favorite part of Magic Kingdom was when my kids got their picture taken with the little mermaid.  She wore a bikini top and there was nothing little about Aerial!!

Epcot- Fish n Chips and bass ale was the best

MGM studios-  ???  kind of sucked because we got caught in a hurricane down pour!  I guess i liked the rain gear.

Downtown Disney-  thats an easy one- the Sosa Cigar Bar!!!  My wife looked so hot token on a cigar!

Good to be home,   E.H

Joe Spice Jokes

Little boy drew a penis on the chalkboard one day.  The teacher erased it right away.  The next day the teacher came into class and saw even a bigger penis drawn on the board, and underneath it, it said the more you rub it the bigger it gets!

How do you know if a Korean Kid breaks into your house?

Your Cat is missing and your kids math homework is finished.

What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

They get close enough that it smells great- but if they eat it they will get fired!!!!!

They are so stupid they are funny!!   Sort of like Joe Spiese!!!!!!

Baseball Update

Manny Rameriz just got a 50 game suspension for taking paternal steroid pills.  I heard that he was munching on fig newtons right before the press conference.  I guess that means if he has a baby girl with A-Rod.  They could name her-  Juice Newton!!!!!!!!!!

The more beer I drink- the funnier that gets!   I just made it up- so it might just be tickling my funny bone which is not real hard to do after 10 mooseheads!!!!!

E.H.C

Football Update

Brett might be back for one more year!   He is starting to make Sugar Ray Leonard look boring!  This guy is really getting on my nerves!   I wish Jack Tatum would come out of retirement and take care of FARVE one last time!!

Happy Mothers Day

If you are reading this that means that you have probably got a Mother.  I am very lucky to have a great one.  Some say that she is like a saint!  Maybe because she had to put up with me and my brother for all those years when we were growing up being little dickheads!  Spray painting the dogs tail black,  flooding the upstairs bathroom so that it rained in the living room, running the VW down the driveway and smashing it up real good,  or my brother climbing a tree and peeing on the dumb neighbor kids head.(boy did he ever get a good beating for that one!!!)

Maybe she is great because after we eat like pigs at her house, she then sends the leftovers home with us.  If we ever need any cash or financial help- there she is like a parental stimulus plan!  She might have taken the trophy for mom of the century as she has offered to take the whole family down to disney world in a few weeks, compliments of her retirement bonus!  So whether your mom is like Mother Teresa, Mother Mary or just a Mother Fucker.  It is the time of the season to show your appreciation towards her whether you get her flowers, candy, lunch or dinner, a simple card, or maybe just give her a buzz and thank her for getting loaded that one night and not letting the best of you drip down her leg?  It is the thought that counts.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you Mom!!   And I feel awful for being such a jerk all of those years growing up!  All those times I said that it was not me, it must of been Dad or Craig.  I was probably lying through my shit yellow teeth!!  I was the one that made doing laundry hell!  I was the one that woke you up at 3 am and told you that we had a real busy night at the restaurant and I was doing dishes. (big lie, I was drinking and trying to do some girl!)

I was the one that skipped school, drank, smoked, chewed, had pre-marital sex(do not worry, I was not real good at it!)  So sorry for all the lies~!   Love you!

P.S- please nobody forward this to my mommy!  The card that I did give her does not have all of this in it word for word!

Eric Mommy Boy Handcock