Happy Mothers Day

If you are reading this that means that you have probably got a Mother.  I am very lucky to have a great one.  Some say that she is like a saint!  Maybe because she had to put up with me and my brother for all those years when we were growing up being little dickheads!  Spray painting the dogs tail black,  flooding the upstairs bathroom so that it rained in the living room, running the VW down the driveway and smashing it up real good,  or my brother climbing a tree and peeing on the dumb neighbor kids head.(boy did he ever get a good beating for that one!!!)

Maybe she is great because after we eat like pigs at her house, she then sends the leftovers home with us.  If we ever need any cash or financial help- there she is like a parental stimulus plan!  She might have taken the trophy for mom of the century as she has offered to take the whole family down to disney world in a few weeks, compliments of her retirement bonus!  So whether your mom is like Mother Teresa, Mother Mary or just a Mother Fucker.  It is the time of the season to show your appreciation towards her whether you get her flowers, candy, lunch or dinner, a simple card, or maybe just give her a buzz and thank her for getting loaded that one night and not letting the best of you drip down her leg?  It is the thought that counts.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you Mom!!   And I feel awful for being such a jerk all of those years growing up!  All those times I said that it was not me, it must of been Dad or Craig.  I was probably lying through my shit yellow teeth!!  I was the one that made doing laundry hell!  I was the one that woke you up at 3 am and told you that we had a real busy night at the restaurant and I was doing dishes. (big lie, I was drinking and trying to do some girl!)

I was the one that skipped school, drank, smoked, chewed, had pre-marital sex(do not worry, I was not real good at it!)  So sorry for all the lies~!   Love you!

P.S- please nobody forward this to my mommy!  The card that I did give her does not have all of this in it word for word!

Eric Mommy Boy Handcock