Funny X-Mas Movie Quote

"You don't know when to quit, do ya 'Griswold? .... Here's an idea: Why don't you give me half the money you were going to bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day!"

New You Tube X-Rated Dildo Song.

I kept the title the same- Christmas Present idea for the old lady. But I just downloaded the Dildo Song for those of you who have not had it forwarded to your email by me or Andy.

Make sure the kids are out of the room as it is somewhat x-rated!!

The Video is between the nice rack picture and Tigers X-mas Card. Sometimes other You Tube video crap pops up? I do not know why this happens? I just get off the site and back on and then the one I downloaded is there. Hope everybody has a chance to see it, especially all my Women fans as it is sort of a Homo or Chick video!!

Pretty funny stuff. The top square is the full length video in black and white, the next one down is in color with some bloopers. The bottom one is just the words. Feel free to check them out and try not to be to embarrassed or offended by any of them. It is just a joke and should not be taken to seriously. I figure anybody that is still getting on this comfortably dumb and then some blog, is not to easily offended.

You know what I always say to anybody that is. Oh well, F-U lighten up pussy and do not take life so seriously!

Merry Christmas to everybody and enjoy Jack off Frost nipping at your genitals!!!!

Love, E.

I love Jesus

I would love to take Jesus out for a nice fancy dinner sometime with me and the old lady. Today at church I heard that he can turn water into wine! Talk about a neat trick. I always figure that 40% of our bill is from drinks. Jesus would be better than having a coupon! He might steal some of my wifes attention from me, but that is a chance that I would take.

Love thy neighbor!

Spank what?

I already told this story to about 100 people, but I will put it in writing anyway because every time I think about it I sort of chuckle to myself. Sometimes there will be somebody close by me as I chuckle and they just look at me like I am a little nutty. I guess it is better to look like a happy goofball than a pissed off prick?..... So back to the story-

Last week my kids were sitting at my bar in my basement with me. They were having some Hawaiian punch cocktails as I was having my adult beverage. My Hawaiian punch cocktail is nothing more than fruit juicy red punch and 7up on the rocks. The old ladies COCKtail gets 3 shots of cheap vodka thrown in it! She is always so nice to me after she has two or three of them. However, she was upstairs while I was downstairs with my girls who are usually little angels. After a few of my special kids drinks though they turned into little indians! My six year old was throwing stuffed animals and blocks around as I warned her to stop and get out of my line of sight of the football game that I was watching!!!

Not even 2 minutes after being warned, a block was flung up into the air and hit one of my fancy bar lantern lights that I spent two hours stapling to the ceiling. Even though it was not harmed, I flipped out and told her that she was going to get her ass whooped! My seven year old came to her rescue and said, "aahhh, you said a bad word and I am telling mommy." I said, "ass is not a bad word- look it up in the dictionary, it means donkey." So then she innocently replies, "you're gonna spank her donkey?" I laughed and told her to just go tell on me. Kids really do say the funniest shit.

Love E.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Funny News

I just read that a hole was found in a wall at this Nudist Camp over in Europe. The Police are looking into it.