funny video

I do not understand why sometimes the video I download goes on and sometimes not? I finally changed the Favre final pass of last year.

You get a chance check out the goldfish video on the top- if it fucking pops up? (pretty f.f!)

Peace

My bi-weekly work update

U.P.S spent lots of money on a new small sort conveyor belt and it went into affect on Monday. It is suppose to help cut man hours and save us lots of money. Today was the third day we used it and when we got done with the preload it was damn near 9 am. Hope they do not put a second small sort belt in- the drivers will not make any of their required Next day Air times at that rate, and we will go bankrupt!

I have to laugh when I walk past the new system @ 6 am when I am on my 6 am bathroom break. And I noticed that their are 6 supervisors watching 5 workers busting their butt to keep caught up. You know that as soon as the half dozen a-holes take off. Shit is going to get all backed up and we will eventually go back to the old system which worked just fine!

Injury update- Alex "Turtle" Berchard is on the D.L. Rumor has it that he sprained his trigger finger when he was playing his newest video game? Good news is that he did get high score!

Fantasy Baseball update

CBS had some news on one of my fantasy players. The player was a relief pitcher from the Chicago White Sox Bobby Jenks. For any of you familiar with baseball players know that he is the closer for his team and only has to pitch the ninth inning on games where his team is winning by 3 runs or less going into the last inning. He is also a little bit on the heavy side and probably could only pitch one inning as it looks like he would not be in any shape to do anything other than that.

The update from CBS said that Jenks was not available for Sundays game because of some soreness? One of the die hard fantasy owners that can comment on the site posted-

He had a sore stomach from eating to many hot dogs in between innings! Suck it up, take a tums and get in their and pitch fat ass!!

I really enjoy seeing that other geeks out there take this fantasy sports shit as serious as I do!!

E.H

Hotter than Hell

My central air is not working right now. And my armpits now smell like an onion sub with extra onion!

Damn the kids make me laugh!

I had to go see my Probation officer yesterday. So I had the wife and kids run me into the wonderful city. I had them park about 2 blocks away from where I was going so that they could wait for me at the fractured prune. It is this donut shop that serves 100's of different sweet flavors while the donut is still warm. They loved it! My wife got a nutter butter which was the best donut she ever ate. One kid got oreo cookie and the other snickers. When we were heading home- my oldest said- Hey daddy, when is your next meeting in the city?

Last week we were getting ready for my cousins wedding and I was putting on one of my 2 suits that I own. And as I was putting on the tie, my youngest daughter says, Hey daddy, it looks like you are getting ready to go to court.

I love my sweet little angels- they are so funny and they dont even know it.

R.I.P- R.I.P R.I.P

I was never a huge fan of Roy. I always wanted him to retire and leave U.P.S. But I never wished him to exit our company the way he did. I hope that some of the older guys will learn from Roy and retire when they are 57. You do not need to collect your pension and Social Security at the same time! Enjoy your golden years! I know that i do not want to work right up until my last day on this earth!

R.I.P Roy Roy- Many will miss you and Nobody will ever forget you.

Poor Vending Machine Guy

Today at work the funniest thing happened. Pat Moyer made one of her usual trips to the vending machine for her frito lay fix. Only things went very sour instead of the salty experience that she is use to. (that phrase might also be used for a porn star as well?)

When she made her entry for her corn chips, she encountered the ever so dreadful hanger. There she stood eye to eye with her snack just waiting for it to fall. We all know what happens next- you shake the hell out of the machine or you plug another $.75 cents in there and get double the pleasure. I would've thought and anybody that knows her would think the same that she would chose the later of the two. I guess she must of been out of cash, because she went with shake the machine like a big blonde mama bear. Not only did she shake it- but she threw her shoulder into it and broke the glass. She got a nice cut out of the whole mess and is now going to give the vending machine guy a red card!

I heard that right after it broke- Travis, Big White, Simone & Rocky, and Tommy all looted the machine and made out pretty good.

When all our snacks go up in price, we know who we have to thank for it!! Thanks Mrs. Safety!

Not always easy riding shotgun!

Since I do not have a damn drivers license right now, my lovely wife drove the family up to the mountains last week. She is so damn cute, but she scares the hell out of me when she drives, especially on long trips. I think she has a tendency to drift off and daydream about whatever is on her beautiful mind.(I have to say some nice stuff just in case she reads this!)

I now know why they put all the little strips on the side of the highways. You know the ones that make your tires hum when you run over them so that if you fall asleep while driving you can wake up and get back on the road. Well, my wife hits them about every 5 minutes when she is not driving down the center of the turnpike. And when she does hit them, sometimes it is like she is having a contest to see how long she can stay on them? I also am bothered when she tells me that she thinks the brakes are bad and they are making a squeaking sound. Then not 2 minutes later she speeds up to a red light and slams them on!! I guess she is just testing them out to see how bad they are? If I put my hand on the dashboard to brace myself she yells at me and says "are you being a wise guy or what?" I tell her that I am just bracing myself so that the seatbelt does not snap my neck!

The best part of the trip was when we got off the turnpike at the fort littleton exit. Whenever I get off at that exit I will always remember this one time for as long as I live.(which may not be much longer if I do not get my license back soon!) Hot Mama Busch does about 60 down the ramp as she approaches a curve with a yield sign because of vehicles getting off the turnpike from the other direction. It is not a heavy traffic area as the population is thin in that area and we do rarely even see any cars coming from that direction. But this time was different as their was a pick-up truck coming and to me it looked like it would meet our van at the curve with the yield sign at the same time. Since I could see that she was not looking, I yelled "Truck!!!" My wife looks- slows down- speeds up while still looking at the truck- almost missed the curve but not the cattle shoot- and then swerves to avoid the concrete barrier at the last second. Meanwhile our whole load of supplies in the back shifted and went everywhere and she has the nerve to say- "you did not load that stuff very good" Meanwhile- I am having trouble breathing and I put my hand on my heart as I am trying to gather myself before we have to pay our toll charge- and she then says- "Quit being a drama queen!" Great, not only is she scaring the shit out of me- now she is stealing lines from me that I use on her and the kids!!!

Venda tells me that she drives better when I am not in the Van with her. I make her nervous and am always giving her a hard time when she almost wrecks. I hope she does drive better when I am not with her- I can not imagine her driving any worse! (unless she was oriental?)

I must just be one lucky S.O.B when I am riding shotgun. Maybe Jesus is sitting on my lap? That might explain why the seatbelt is so damn uncomfortable!!

Keep on Truckin!! E.H