Do not be a quitter!

You may have a drinking problem if you quit drinking 299 times because of different kinds of trouble that you have gotten into! And you jumped back on the wagon 300 times!!

I remember saying, yeah I have not had a drink in 3 days, 6 hours and 22 minutes!

One Bourbon, One Scotch, and one Beer

You might be a drunk if you say you hate tomato juice- buy you love Bloody Marys!

You may be shit faced if when you go to take a piss, you lose your balance and on the way down to the bathroom floor you pull the shower curtain down and you are a female that does this!!

If you ever have watered the house plants or Christmas tree with urine. Or a laundry basket or hamper full of wash got an early rinse cycle as well!! You may be a little drunk.

If you try to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth by using peppermint schnapps. You are surely a drunk!!

If you have ever thought or said that 30 packs of beer or stupid- They should be 50 packs, 30 is just a tease! Guess what- full fledged drunkard you are!!

You cant drink an energy drink unless you mix booze with it- Then you are a wired out crazy drunk no doubt!!

When you wake up next to a girl in the morning and your not sure you remember her name or if it is even a girl laying next to you? Then you may want to make a call and get to an A.A meeting pronto!!

Have you ever bragged about drinking a half gallon of booze in an evening and you did not get sick or have the slightest hangover the next day. Sorry that your liver is not laughing with your drunk ass!

If you think a great breakfast is a piece of toast with some coffee. And when I say coffee, I mean a baileys and Kaluah with a splash of coffee in it! Then you may be a drunk.

This is my first edition of my A.A Jeff Foxworthy type material. I am sure I will come up with some more as I give it a little bit of thought. These examples up above just came to me off the top of my bald head. Some of them come from experience of course and some of them were made up or experiences that I sort of witnessed from friends and family. And when I say witnessed- I mean things that have happened as I was passed out on the floor!!

Happy St. Pats Day to all!

Letter to the editor:

Bye Bye Middle Class America

Our society would be a much better place to live in if we could just rid ourselves of all Labor Unions! They are so bad for our economy. They are helping the middle class think that they have a chance to thrive in our poor economy and it is sad to mislead them like that.

The Union Employee always wants a contract with silly benefits like vacation and holiday pay, health insurance, a fair days pay, and a pension on top of everything else!!

Because of the greedy unions, the non-union companies must offer a decent rate of pay and some benefits to their workers to keep the threat of a union out of their place of employment. Just in case that is not enough, they will be sure to let the workers know that the union is rotten and if anybody dare mentions one of them, it will cost them their job!!

The Managers and C.E.O.s work very hard and the positions high up in a company involve a lot of stress. The Unions and Middle Class America should not be running their business! The worker is not the one that has to worry about paying for the Summer Mansion in Cape Cod, or the August trip to Paris, or the Ivy League Colleges for the kids!! If they could just bust those darn Unions and then the power would be all theirs. Then we could do away with the unions and the workers would be much easier to deal with as they would not have the security that they have grown so use to. Anybody with many years of service would be offered a nice pay cut or they can sign a release form and go somewhere else! (unless you are planning on going to Harvard, France, or The Cape!)

I am sorry if my sarcasm is beginning to show as I am a third generation Teamster and proud of it! I am proud that each month I pay union dues so that I can take care of my family and live a comfortable life. We do not light cigars with hundred dollar bills. However, because of my union job, my wife can stay at home and be a domestic engineer and install good family values into our children. We have great health insurance to help with any medical expenses that may be on the horizon. After 23 years on the job, I get a good bit of much needed vacation time so that I can enjoy my family and give my body a break from the abuse that it takes from the job. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful to be a union worker! I only wish that I did not have to hear so much trash talk about the Unions. I understand that most times it is coming from somebody that never walked a day in union boots.

F.U N.F.L and Roger Goodell

I just got a mass email from the Commish and the NFL telling me how committed they are to the collective bargaining process. (Yeah, just like the governor of Wisconsin is!!)

We all know which side Roger Goodell is on! Who is lining his pockets! I replied to the email- it was a real simple response- F.U Roger!!!!!

Love never, E.H