You may be shit faced if when you go to take a piss, you lose your balance and on the way down to the bathroom floor you pull the shower curtain down and you are a female that does this!!
If you ever have watered the house plants or Christmas tree with urine. Or a laundry basket or hamper full of wash got an early rinse cycle as well!! You may be a little drunk.
If you try to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth by using peppermint schnapps. You are surely a drunk!!
If you have ever thought or said that 30 packs of beer or stupid- They should be 50 packs, 30 is just a tease! Guess what- full fledged drunkard you are!!
You cant drink an energy drink unless you mix booze with it- Then you are a wired out crazy drunk no doubt!!
When you wake up next to a girl in the morning and your not sure you remember her name or if it is even a girl laying next to you? Then you may want to make a call and get to an A.A meeting pronto!!
Have you ever bragged about drinking a half gallon of booze in an evening and you did not get sick or have the slightest hangover the next day. Sorry that your liver is not laughing with your drunk ass!
If you think a great breakfast is a piece of toast with some coffee. And when I say coffee, I mean a baileys and Kaluah with a splash of coffee in it! Then you may be a drunk.
This is my first edition of my A.A Jeff Foxworthy type material. I am sure I will come up with some more as I give it a little bit of thought. These examples up above just came to me off the top of my bald head. Some of them come from experience of course and some of them were made up or experiences that I sort of witnessed from friends and family. And when I say witnessed- I mean things that have happened as I was passed out on the floor!!
Happy St. Pats Day to all!
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