The $100 Cheesesteak

Bent Creek Country Club serves an exquisite cheesesteak that is like one you have probably never tasted before. It is made with Kobe beef, Maine Lobster tail, imported tallegio cheese and sliced truffles on a Brioche roll. It is called the Bent Franklin and is prepared by Chef Jean Maurice Juge, known to most as JM. You can get this sandwhich if you are a member or you know a member that can get you into the yuppy country club. All for the bargain price of one hundred dollars! It sucks that you have to know a member of the club, that sort of rules out the old dine and dash dinner.

When I read this article in the Sunday News, I could not help but to wonder, who in their right mind would spend $100 bucks for a cheesesteak? You could go to Captain Gus and get 16 cheesesteaks! Or You could get 4 cases of beer and 4 cheesesteaks! Or You could buy 12 boxes of Steak-ums, 1lb. of cheese and 30 good steaks rolls and make 2 1/2 dozen cheesesteaks at home!
Or You could even run down to a Phillies game, get two tix. to the game and buy 2 high priced stadium cheesesteaks!!

Chef JM says that he is not really making any money on the sandwhich. The Kobe beef started out in Japan and went to Australia, the truffles came from under the roots of oak trees in France, the Lobster comes from the sweetest one pound Lobsters that Maine has to offer, and all the imported cheeses from all over the world make this a very low profit menu item. Or so Chef JM says anyway! Give me a break- This clown could be marinating some rump roast that he got down at the weis for $4.99 a pound. The Lobster could come out of a can. He could get the imported cheese 3 aisles over from where he got the can Lobster! As far as the Truffles go- Who the Fuck even knows what a truffle is? I thought it was chocolate. Come to think of it, I do not know what a Brioche roll is either! The whole thing sounds like a Damn Scam!

I guess part of the reason I do not want to believe that it is true, is because I'm sure I will never get to try a $100 cheesesteak. I guess if I live to be 102 years old and the average cheesesteak at that time costs $100. Then I may have one for my last meal. But for now I will have to be happy eating my cheesesteaks at Bars, pizza shops or right out of my own greasy frying pan!!

Pig Out- E.H

fantasy baseball update

So far my #1 pick Ryan Howard is a bust! I think that Ryan Howard from the office could hit better than the Ryan from the phillies!

Out of my 6 teams that I'm running, Poopy Cheaters is doing the best with Peckerhead right behind them.

At the end of the weekend, we will have 25 games down- 137 to go!

Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd, buy meat and penis and crack for jack. I dont care if I ever get back. Because it is root, root, root for the home team. If they dont win its fixed. Because its one, two, three teamster strikes at the ole ball game!

7th inning stretch by E.Handcock

Duck Condoms

Two honeymooning ducks are staying in a hotel, just as they are about to have sex, the male duck says, we do not have any condoms. I'll call room service, so he calls the front desk and asks for condoms. The receptionist says "ok sir, would you like to put them on your bill?"
"HELL NO" he says, "I'll Suffocate!!!"

Smart and Smarter

H.Clinton just busted B.O balls by saying that he thinks he is smarter than a lot of people.

I think that is great! After the last 8 years, I'm very ready for a president that may be smarter than a lot of other people!

Bitching (forgot one)

The classic and never out of fashion- you forgot to put the toilet seat down!!

This one I never get, because I always say- you forgot to put the toilet seat up!

One time I protested the whole thing and I just always left the toilet seat down. That way I never had to worry about forgetting to put the seat back down. The problem with this protest is that after a few cold ones my aim is not always the best. When I'm feeling really good, I like to close my eyes when draining the old caterpillar. I MEAN COBRA! Eyes closed and the rocking back and forth motion is not always the best thing for the aim of the piss. I must admitt that I got yelled at a few times for peeing on the seat.

I figure that the best thing to do is just pee like a girl. Sometimes after a long day, it is nice to sit down and take a leak. Who knows- If you are lucky maybe a #2 will come along for a visit!
Just so my kids do not catch me peeing like a girl. If they do, they will report me to mommy and then I will get bitched at more than if I just forgot to put the seat back down! Maybe the easiest thing to do is just stop pissing in the crapper all together and go out back to the corn field!!

U.P.S update

The part-time sup. in the primary is a real bitch- I'm sorry to report that in the last 3 weeks she has warned me that she is going to take away Ipods, bathroom breaks, snack machine breaks, and that the sort better get cleaned up or else!! She seems to think that the sorters are sabatoging the system out of spite. She even went as far as to tell our boss, one day last week, that I was responsible for all the packages being sent to the brown belt with no labels. Now this is very serious- first off, she was wrong. I did not sabatoge the system that day and if you get caught doing such a thing you can be discharged on the spot. I have 3 girls at home to provide for and would not jeopardize my job in such a foolish way!! Second off- I do not even own a fucking Ipod! 3rd off- You do not tell a teamster that they can not take a break- Shit, smoke, piss or food break, that is why we pay union dues!! To be entitled to take a break!!

Earlier today at work, once again I was informed that our bathroom breaks were going to be taken away. I did not react very professional with my response. Anybody that did not already hear about the whole ordeal. Let me just say that it was not pretty! It did not get any prettier when we sat down in the office to work on our relationship. Shane, Kathy, and myself had a good ole time in the preload office behind closed doors. I feel bad for not feeling bad when Kathy walked out in the middle of being told what a piece of shit she is and how she gets in the way all day long. It is not good to keep your feelings bottled up inside of you- so I let them all out. It felt pretty good! There is a small part of me the feels bad though- When her eyes got that watered down look right before she departed our meeting, it did make me a little sad. Maybe I was just upset because I still had a few more jabs to take. All I know is that I try to do a good job for the preload, I also know that I can work and get along with almost everybody. I get a paycheck- so I do not expect a pat on the back, but just do not try to stab me in the back!! It could get ugly!!

Love almost always,

Bitching

National pastime= Baseball= 5 fantasy teams on MLB.com/ beat the streak contest/ beat the Home Run streak/ CBS fantasy league with buddies= lots of time spent on the computer studying and making moves. And that equals lots of time spent by my wife bitching at me for being on the computer all the time. Luckily for me, it does not really bother me when she bitches at me for being on the computer. I think that after nine years of being happily married. I've been bitched at for smoking, drinking, gambling, swearing, being lazy, not always being politically correct, watching sports, drinking, hating cats, spending money like I own an oil field, drinking, having sex with myself, farting/stinking in general, speeding, ugly toenails, trying to finish having sex before the commercial break is over, putting salt on pizza, skid marks in the underwear, and of course- DRINKING!

So I think that I've become immuned to all of the bitching. Luckily my self-esteem is very high and I love my wife till death parts us, or she gets sick of me and leaves me.

New UPS slogan

Because of the rising cost of fuel. United Parcel Service just came up with a new slogan for its customers-

WE JUST UPED OUR RATES SO UP YOURS!!

Barnyard babes ll poll

We have 2 votes for horse- Laura and Deb(hence hung like a horse)
We have 2 votes for cat- Mike and Tony(hence, love that pussy)
We have 3 votes for sheep- Me and 2 other sickos!

I promise that I will not post a barnyard babes lll. It was a very sick subject and I apologize for anything that I wrote that made you throw up in your mouth.

The farmers in our country work very hard at their trade. If every now and then they want to bang the livestock, we should cut them some slack! Do not be so judgemental! Next time you open a can of cream of chicken, just smile and leave it at that.

Adios Amigos, E.H