Beware of 'Poopetrator'

In case anybody did not catch this story in the local paper the other day about the overlook pool in manheim twp. I thought I would copy a few of my favorite parts of the story for everybody. I bet the yuppies that go there were literally having shit fits.

As pool problems go, this one is a real gagger. Overlook pool in Manheim Township is having a problem with a pool pooper. The culprit- pool officials think it's an adult or teen pulling a prank- has defacated in the pool a half dozen times in the past three weeks, leading to temporary pool evacuations.

Lifeguards at the pool are distressed.(I guess so, they have to clean the shit out of the pool!!)
Pool officials are on the prowl for the pooper. (Be alert Andy Adams & Joe Spiese!)
When the announcement is made over the loud speaker to clear the pool. The Lifeguards have trouble controlling the crowd. Everybody is pushing and rushing to clear the water. I can not help but to think that it is just like the movie caddyshack. Right now would be a great time to go visit the overlook pool with your Baby Ruth candy bar!

One pool regular said he is concerned about the effect of feces in the water, noting that is how some diseases are spread. If the person doing it is trying to pull a prank, it's not a successful one. It's pretty obvious people aren't finding it funny.

I could not disagree more with that guy! I think it is pretty funny and probably not the easiest thing to pull off. I have trouble going in public restrooms at times. I could not imagine, heading to the deep end to lay a load. Until you guys get caught- Keep up the good work Joe & Andy.

Have a Shitty Day, Love, E.Handcock

Stupid Joke

Why do Tigers eat raw meat?

Because they do not know how to cook. Plus even if they did- they do not have Stoves, grills, and microwaves in the jungle ya dumbass!!

One Bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

George Bush Jr., Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter went out to the bar for a drink
Clinton shouts out to the bartender, "give me a G and T." "What's that?" says the bartender. "A Gin and Tonic" says Bill. Then Jimmy says, "I'll take an R and C." Bartender says, "and what is an R and C?" "Thats a rum and coke", says Jimmy with a big smile. Bush puts his order in, and says, "give me the ole 15" "what the hell is the ole 15?" asks the bartender.
Bush responds, "daahh, thats a seven and seven."

Raindrops keep fallin on my fat head

I never understood why people say that they are saving their money for a rainy day. Why? You got a leaky roof on the house? You need to buy an umbrella? Basement got flooded and you need a wet vac.? You gonna need $5. in quarters at the car wash?

Personally, I love it when it rains. Then I do not feel so guilty for laying around the house and watching TV and doing nothing!

While I'm on the subject of rain. I also do not understand the saying- when it rains it pours. That is not true at all. It seems to drizzle or mist all the time.

Rain for thought, E.H.C

Vacation Update

Just got back from the beach yesterday. Besides the fact that everything is over priced. I burned the bottom of my feet like a dumbass on the 130 degree sand at high noon! My cell phone took a swim with me in the ocean! Gas and Traffic suck! The room that we stayed at was right on the beach, but was still half a dump. I did not do much on my vacation to do list and salt water is not good for a cell phone. I guess I could say that it was an ok trip and that it will make my next vacation to the mountains even more relaxing. Anybody that knows me at all, knows that I prefer the hillbillies over the sandy flatlanders.

My three girls had a blast though. So I took some sand up the butt and made the best of it.
My kids got their hair braided on the boardwalk. My wife has a very white chest and butt now and is very happy with that. I got a new cell phone to play with.

I think the best part of vacation for me is how good it feels to get home. There is nothing like getting into your own bed at night. Comfortably sleep walking to your own toilet at 3 a.m. Sitting on your favorite seat in front of your own TV. I think that whoever came up with that saying "Home Sweet Home". Simply put- I think that they were a fucking genius! Or a weirdo recluse? Whatever.

Peace,

Fuck Favre

I'm so sick and tired of hearing about Brett Favre! I think that he loves being in the spotlight and that he is going to end up playing for the N.Y Jets this year. What better stage than the big apple for the big Cheesehead!! I feel sort of bad for the Packers and A.Rodgers that they have to put up with all his B.S.

I wish he would've retired after he sucked in "There is something about Mary". I still hear the idiot screwing up his one line. "I'm in town to play the Dolphins ya dumbass." He read it so slow right off the cue card.

We keep hearing about what a great year he just had. And all the records that he holds. I have not heard a thing about how he helped the Giants get to the big dance and that he has thrown more picks than any other QB ever!! I also remember that he was hooked on pain pills a few years back. I guess that is one cool thing about him? I was probably just upset that he gets his drugs for free!!! It also bothers me that he had that great game the day after his dad died, and said that his dad would've wanted him to play. Give me a break and take a few days to mourn you asshole!!

39 years ago, I wish his dad would've shot his load into his moms mouth or onto her butt cheek! Then I could turn on ESPN and get my baseball scores without hearing his name 105 times in 1 hour!!

Love E.Handcock

Vacation

I'm getting ready to call in sick & I have 2 weeks of vacation in a row. That means I do not go back to work until July28th! As good of a mood as I'm in right now(for being sick). I will be twice the miserable prick on that last monday of the month. I think that the whole red/gold card B.S is what got me sick. I was going to gut it out and work Friday but talked myself out of it. It was a short talk!

I just hope I have enough time to do everything that I want to do while I'm off. I guess I will have enough time to do it all?

1. Get a Massage
2. Go to Sonic and get burger(never been there before) (get ready for restaurant review)
3. Practice for Horseshoe tournament at York Fairgrounds
4. Make some beef jerky
5. Take nap every day
6. Watch lots of movies and sports
7. Eat Beef Jerky

Love, Clark Grizzwald