PUNXSUTAWNEY (AP)
-Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkeness after he was seen trying to resusciatate a long-dead opossum along a highway.
State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36.
The trooper said another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Levier says the animal already had been dead a while.
I just read this in the Saturday morning paper. How disturbing is this? If there was ever a reason or a sign from God for somebody to stop drinking, I think Donny Wolfe just got it! Kissing dead road kill is not the most normal thing to do even if you are shit faced wasted! It is embarrassing enough to get a public drunkeness. I know from experience! At least I was just walking down the middle of the road and cursing at the police and questioning their sexual preferences! I can live with that- Interacting with road kill is just a little sick in whatever sense we are talking about!
I was trying to put myself in Mr. Wolfes shoes and try to figure out what he was thinking in his fucked up state of mind. The only thing I could come up with was that maybe he thought it was the famous Punxsutawney ground hog and it was still moving around a little(as every object he looked at was doing!) and he was going to be a hero and bring this animal back to life? Unfortunately that was not the case and now this guy is probably going to have to move to another time zone or at least out of state!
I actually enjoyed reading this article because as much as I like to drink and have done stupid things in the past. It is good to know that there is somebody out there doing even stupider stuff! Thanks Donald Wolfe! You're still not my hero though.
Sincerely, E.H
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